


Too Much Heart

by midgardianfangirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean is Cas's Colette, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 15:26:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6962506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midgardianfangirl/pseuds/midgardianfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's true, too much heart has always been Castiel's problem. But Chuck is dying, the sky is burning and the world needs a miracle. </p><p>Some angels think Castiel was made wrong, but what if he was the only one truly made right?</p><p>Theory for 11.23 compliant up to 11.22</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't forgotten my other Supernatural fics, I just am struggling to write MY version of Chuck while I am watching this one. *Sigh* 
> 
> Theory for 11.23 compliant up to 11.22
> 
> She'll lie and steal, and cheat, and beg you from her knees  
> Make you think she means it this time  
> She'll tear a hole in you, the one you can't repair  
> But I still love her, I don't really care  
> -The Lumineers

Amara disappeared leaving the Winchesters to look around themselves in horror. Sam worked to regain control of his breathing as Dean carefully stood up, hoping the niggling in his back would go away. They took in their surrounds, Chuck; God Almighty lay on the ground in agony and Castiel, Lucifer, whoever, still sat slumped onto himself where he had landed from Amara's blast. 

"Cas?" Dean let out a sound that was more a pained cry than spoken words. 

Dean left his brother's side without a second glance crossing to Castiel and dropping to his knees in front of the Angel.

"Cas?" he said again, his hand cupping the other man's bewhiskered cheek, he ignored Sam's sympathetic tone and didn't even register his brother's words. Instead, he felt a wave of futile rage sweep over him, "This is why I wanted Lucifer _out of Cas._ But NO. No one cared enough did they? No one thought about-" His words stopped dead in his throat, and the tears welling up in his eyes and began rolling down his cheeks like rivulets.

Sam sat against a pillar with Chuck, who he had pulled into a sitting position, they both watched on in anguish.

"Gent's?" Rowena's accented voice broke the sad silence as she pushed open a door. 

They all looked over at her while she looked around the room in horror. She looked back to them; her mouth hung open in frightened awe. "The sky looks like it is on fire," she told them her voice, quiet and terrified. 

Dean, Sam, and Rowena looked over to Chuck, who weakly nodded, in agreement. 

"We should get back to the bunker, make a plan," Sam said his voice feigned calm.

"WHAT ABOUT CAS?" Dean yelled, causing everyone in the vicinity to jump in shock, including, to Dean's surprise the body in his arms.

A gasping breath, the only sound in the room as everyone's attention turned this time, to Castiel. 

Dean's hand shook, his hand moving back to Cas's cheek. "Cas?" Dean asked desperately, his voice breaking as he spoke the single syllable. 

Slowly as if in hesitation his closed eyes scrunched before opening. Castiel blinked, dark blue eyes shining, he looked at Dean in confusion. "Dean," Cas pronounced staring at the other man. 

Dean looked at him, in disbelief, before he all but collapsed on top of Castiel. He sobbed into the man's shoulder while Cas remained sat on the ground, surrounded by the scorched pattern of his Brothers wings.

Cas looked down at the man clutching him like he hadn't seen Dean in many months. He looked up; attention pulled from his weeping friend as footsteps approached where they sat. 

"Sam," Cas said looking up at the taller man, "Father," he said, the word coming out barely legible, "Rowena." He nodded to the witch politely voice more controlled. 

"Sorry about last time we met Sweetie." She said, referring to the attack dog spell, her face contorting to an apologetic expression she stepped closer to lay a reassuring hand on his shoulder. 

Dean pulled his head up to glare at Rowena who quickly backed away with a defensive but amused expression. 

"Okay, no one touches him but Dean, _apparently._ " She said walking over to Chuck and Sam instead where Sam was supporting Chuck's body, holding him upright.

"Castiel." Chuck offered his son a weak but fond smile, "Sam is right, we should go." 

"Drive?" Dean asked after coughing to clear his throat, "Neither of you can take us can you?" Dean asked looking from Cas to Chuck.

Chuck shook his head, "I can't, no, what little power I have left, we must save for emergencies, and Castiel certainly cannot." 

Dean looked away from him frustrated and back to Cas, who looked downcast. 

"Not because he is weak, but because my Son is no longer an Angel." Chuck explained, "Castiel knew that the moment he opened his eyes, didn't you Son?"

Cas nodded looking at Dean again, "I did. Thank-you Father. I'm grateful." 

"You saved him?" Dean asked in awe looking up at Chuck. "He _was_ dead, and you saved him?" 

"It was the least I could do." Chuck admitted, "You were right Dean, I should have removed Lucifer from Castiel." 

"How did you do it, though? You're dying!" Sam asked in wonder, "We are obviously grateful, Cas it's so good to have you back but-" 

Castiel bowed his head, "Father used some of his remaining power to save me. He shouldn't have but-" 

"'Shouldn't have' Cas, for gods sake!" Dean let out a sound of anguish. 

"My son lacks his self-worth, is that not clear to you yet Dean?" Chuck asked Dean warily. 

Dean took a breath before tipping Cas's face back up, his hand lingering again on the man's cheek. "You're human Cas, how do you feel about that?" 

"Fine" Cas shrugged, his voice betraying his lie, and Dean pulled a face staring at him in disbelief. 

"Fine?" 

"A little tired, and nauseous, but I am fine Dean. How are you?" Cas asked leaning minutely into Dean's palm which still cupped his cheek as he pulled away.

"Just peachy Cas," Dean grumbled falling back taking a seat beside the former Angel. 

"I'm sorry Dean." Cas told him, sorrow glazing his eyes. "I truly am." 

Dean only stared at him. 

"Let's get going Dean." Sam said again, his voice more forceful this time. 

Dean looked around at his brother, ready with a verbal attack until he looked at Chuck, the gravity of the situation hit him. 

God was dying.


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An oddly fluffy chapter... enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's better to feel pain, than nothing at all  
> The opposite of love's indifference  
> So pay attention now, I'm standing on your porch screaming out  
> And I won't leave until you come downstairs
> 
> -The Lumineers

"No, absolutely not." Dean said unmitigated, "No you are not putting him through that." He looked around the room as if daring Sam, Chuck, Crowley or Rowena to fight him on this subject. 

Crowley and Rowena knew better than to bother and stuck to reading the books from the Men of Letters library about the Mark and also Dean's papers on Cain and the Mark early in his time holding it.

"Dean, what else are we going to do?" Sam asked pleadingly keeping his voice hushed trying not to rouse Castiel who was now sleeping in Dean's bed with a bucket by the bedside, "I can't have it; I didn't even hold the full Mark, but Chuck says I'm tainted nevertheless! Cas is the _only other one_ who can carry the Mark." 

"He's not even an Angel anymore though Sam! He's human! And he barely made the journey home; he's not in any state to go into battle let alone take on the freaking Mark Of Cain!" Dean said exasperatedly sitting at war table running his fingers through his short hair; he remembered the state Cas was in during the journey back to the bunker. 

\---

After pulling Cas up to stand Dean discovered the man was almost as unsteady on his feet as Chuck was. 

"Put Chuck in the front; I'll sit in the back with Cas," Dean instructed Sam as they left the warehouse and approached the Impala

"Boys?" Rowena's voice called out to them from across the way. "Fergus is alive, and he said he'll come to the Bunker. But if you could give me a lift I'd mighty appreciate it." 

Sam looked to Dean for the answer. His brother nodded and gripped Cas tighter as he began to slide down. 

"Dean" a pained groan came from Castiel as he tried to pull away from the other man, "I need to stop." 

"No you don't buddy, we're nearly there," Dean said trying to be encouraging, trying to hide the fear and worry in his voice. 

"No" came another moaned from Cas his face contorted in pain, "I need to-" a wretched hurl and Cas bent over turning away from the other people, vomit hit the ground and digested stench filled the air. 

"Cas? Sorry man, I didn't listen." Dean said turning his face away from the sick but his hands gripping Castiel in a way that he hoped was comforting for the other man. 

He gagged again, but nothing fell to the ground, this time, Sam came over to them after helping Chuck to his seat in the car. 

"I think I'm okay," Cas said grimacing at the taste in his mouth after accidently licking his lips. 

"We'll pull in at the nearest place on the way and get you some water to wash your mouth out," Sam promised as he gripped Cas from the other side and helping Dean and him to the Impala. He opened the door for them but interjected when Dean made to let Cas in first. "Maybe you should have the window seat in case we need to stop the car. There're a couple of bumpy roads on the way." Sam warned looking at Castiel sympathetically. 

\--

They did stop to get water for both Chuck and Castiel, and Castiel did need the car stopped so he could open the door and empty his stomach again. 

He moaned in pain clutching his stomach as they crossed the first of the bumpy roads, Dean wrapped an arm around the former Angel's shoulders hugging him close to his body the best he could in the small space of the backseat. 

Rowena watched them as Castiel settled on Dean's shoulder soon closing his eyes and he was soon resting peacefully, Dean held him in all the ways he could manage in the car. 

"Oh just kiss the boy already!" Rowena blurted, sounding annoyed, but her face showed nothing but glee. "The world is ending Dean; you don't have much time left." 

Sam turned momentarily in his seat in surprise at Rowena's words, and a small knowing smile graced his lips as he turned his attention back to the road. 

Dean ignored her and Sam, but the words echoed in his mind. Both Rowena's and Chucks. 

"Chuck?" Dean asked quietly, not wanting to wake Cas. "What did you mean about Cas's self-worth?" 

"I'm surprised you have to ask Dean," Chuck said before pausing, "Well then again, no I'm not, neither of you ever asked Castiel how he was so why would you understand how he was struggling?" 

Dean stared at the back of Chucks head angrily but waited for the inevitable answer.

"Angel's, I didn't build my children to have human emotions, but there is Castiel. His siblings consider him broken, but their wrong." Chuck told them unquestionably. "The months before he said yes to sharing his vessel with his elder brother, Castiel was plagued with visions and memories of past battles. Curiously enough, much of what tormented him was Dean. Either his hand hurting Dean or vice versa, Dean's hand on him. However neither of you ever imagined that there could be a reason why Castiel didn't want to leave the bunker did you? Why he would rather sit in bed watching videos of things that calmed his soul, rather Dean nearly yelled at him about letting Metatron go not knowing or maybe not caring how much Castiel had to overcome to journey even out of the bunker."

"If we knew we would have tried to help," Sam spoke a few moments into the silence that followed Chuck's words. 

"When I looked into his mind, I too was curious why Castiel freed Lucifer you see, all I saw was despair. You both treating him like a broken toy" he spat the last two words, "never saying thank you, never understanding how much he gave up for you. Metatron spoke down to him; his sister reiterated his very own greatest fear to him just hours before the trip to Hell. Amara didn't even think he was worth slaughtering." Chuck sneered, "No one truly appreciates Castiel." 

"If we had known-" Sam tried again, his voice distraught but Chuck interrupted him. 

"He said yes because he thought he would be the least significant casualty of the battle with Amara."

"He was wrong." Dean declared wrapping himself tighter around Castiel who remained resting peacefully in his arms. 

"If only the world weren't ending and you had more time to show him," Chuck said sadly turning to look at Dean for the first time on their journey.

\--- 

"I'll do it." A deep, gravelly voice spoke pulling Dean from his memories. 

"No Cas!" Dean growled as the other man took slow, unsteady steps until he reached a chair, joining them at the table.

"Dean, this is more important than anything else." 

"NO!" the man bellowed, "I don't care Cas, I'm not losing you again."

"Well, the world is ending so you won't have much choice Squirrel," Crowley interjected in his classic drawl. 

"SHUT UP!" Dean shouted slamming his hand on the table glaring at Crowley.

"Cas, listen to me, do it for me, don't- you can't do this to yourself Cas, for me, please, say no. For _me._ " He begged turning back to Cas and moving closer, not caring about his begging in the room full of people.

Cas looked at him in anguish, "Dean." 

"No." He begged, "no." 

Cas closed his eyes sighing in agony.

"The mere fact that Castiel is willing to give up the fate of the world for one Human is proof that he will be able to hold it and keep control of his mind," Chuck spoke into the silence of the room.

Castiel looked at Chuck, intrigued and confused.

"The Mark is wicked and vast, and it does do it's best to contort the bearer, but Lucifer only became as bad as he did because the mark grew what was already inside him. Lucifer despised Humanity Castiel, whereas you, you have fallen in every way possible, yes, but you did it _for_ Humanity." 

"Cain had a girlfriend? Maybe we need to get the Angel laid?" Crowley offered after a few moments silence; his voice sounding bored he eyed from Castiel to Dean with a sparkle in his eyes, "Help with the anger, relieve some tension." 

Chuck sighed, "Castiel your passion for Humanity shows-" 

"If by Humanity you mean Dean." Rowena interjected, "Yeh, I talked to Charlie, she practically recounted the Angels greatest hits and well Humanity thy name is Dean Winchester." 

Chuck looked at Rowena, "Thankyou... Rowena, as I was saying," he said looking back to Castiel, "Son, we have things to sort before this is even a realistic possibility; we currently have no way of beating Amara." 

"Well," Crowley's drawl interrupted, "I do have in my possession a couple of hands of God. Would they be of any help?" 

"What? You have more?" Sam asked in shock turning on the King of Hell. "Why didn't you tell us?" 

"Yes Moose, you wouldn't let us dispose of Lucifer, so I set out on a mission of making sure I had the necessary equipment to deal with him myself." 

"How many do you hold?" Chuck asked leaning forward in his chair. 

"Three," Crowley told them, "Shall I fetch them?" 

"Yes, please." Chuck agreed graciously, "They should help my strength. Castiel could wield one against Amara, weakening her so that I can put her back in the cage." 

"We tried that!" Dean gritted, "It didn't work! Now you want Cas to face her again?" 

"Dean I have to be there during the final battle anyhow, so I can take the Mark," Castiel spoke trying to reason with Dean.

"No, I'm not done arguing about that part of the plan yet either Cas." 

"Dean" Cas pleaded, "please be reasonable." 

"Cas can I talk you alone?" Dean asked standing up. 

"Of course," Cas said standing up, supporting himself on the table before Dean rushed to his aid. 

"In the kitchen, I'll make you something to eat; you must be hungry." He offered his arms wrapping around the man again. 

They walked to the kitchen together Dean supporting Cas as he stumbled a few times have to stop and regain himself. 

Dean sat him down then proceeded to venture around the kitchen, grateful that Chuck had stocked their fridge and cupboards with food that never seemed to go off. 

"Ham, cheese, lettuce and tomato sound good to you?" Dean asked bringing the ingredients and utensils to a bench near where Castiel sat. 

"Yes, thank you, Dean." 

"Rabbit food is usually Sammy's area, but fresh food is probably better for your stomach right now anyway," Dean said with a forced smile which was supposed to be reassuring.

Cas watched Dean slice the cheese, and tomato before laying them out on pieces of bread. He tore pieces of lettuce from the vegetable, laid them atop the others. He garnished them both with tomato ketchup and plated one up for Cas and one for himself. 

"I'll make more if you're still hungry," Dean said laying the plate in front of him, 

"Thankyou Dean," Castiel said as Dean sat by him. They ate in silence, they both relished the mere company of each other. 

"So Crowley thinks you should get a girlfriend? Thoughts?" Dean said when he had finished his meal. 

"I think he only said that to annoy me, Dean; I have very little interest in women or most relationships." 

"Why would it annoy you? Here I thought it was to piss _me_ off." Dean said looking at Cas with a smile.

“I was thinking.” Cas announced changing the subject as he finished his sandwich, “Cain kept bee’s yes? And harvested honey?” Cas asked his eyes wide and full of joy despite his fatigue. 

“ _Yeah_ ” Dean agreed, curious where this conversation was heading.

“I think I should keep bee’s too, to help with my rage,” Castiel told him speaking seriously but smiling at Dean, who burst out laughing. With _real_ laughter, something Dean hadn’t let out in a _long_ time.

“I love you Cas.” 

Cas’s gaze turned from wide and pleased at making Dean feel joy to one of wide and shocked. 

After several beats, Castiel replied.

“I love you too Dean,” Castiel told him a kind smile on his mouth.

“No, Cas, look, buddy, you to understand this before we go back out there, back to the real world, where the sky is burning. Before we go to battle.” Dean laid a shaking hand on Cas’s own. “I am in love with you Castiel.” 

“I am in love with you too Dean.” 

“Cas you don’t understand, I _love_ love you. I-” he withdrew his hand much to Cas’s sorrow.

“Yes I do Dean, I’ve always loved you, even before I knew what love was.” Castiel explained, before he paused and smiled, “Dean, I knew I was human before I opened my eyes, I couldn’t hear you, or Father or Sam, I could hear the blood pumping through my veins, I could hear my heartbeat thumping in my chest.” Cas laid his hand atop of Deans. “I was terrified,” he admitted. “Then I opened my eyes and saw you, your face, your eyes, your _freckles_. I will miss seeing your soul, but the first emotion I felt as a human was the strength of my love for you, I thought about kissing you but I didn’t think you’d appreciate it.” 

“Freckles eh?” Dean asked laughing both his hands capturing Cas’s this time. “You know they are everywhere so hope you don’t get sick of them.” 

“I won’t. I promise.” 

“About that kiss?” Dean asked shuffling himself down the seat closing the gap between him and Cas, “I think we can assume that we’d both very much appreciate it.” 

Cas smiled, as Dean’s hand cupped his cheek.

Their mouths met halfway. It wasn’t fireworks or sparks, because, for them, sparks quite literally flew the first time they met. The kiss was tender and gentle; Castiel made a content sound against Dean’s mouth his hands wrapping themselves around Dean, one around his neck and the other resting atop the handprint still burned onto the flesh of Dean’s shoulder.

“Does this mean you say yes to the bee idea?” Cas asked pulling away only enough to speak.

“You can have a damn puppy if you want,” Dean said before making contact again. His tongue ran over Cas’s chapped lips gently, before Cas’s lips opened and the kiss deepened. 

Time passed, whether it seconds or minutes neither of them knew, they pulled away from each other at the sound of knuckles rapping on the door to the kitchen. 

The two of them turned to see Sam, Chuck, Crowley and Rowena all staring at them. 

“You know you’re supposed to knock _before_ you enter a room right? Not knock when you’re standing in the doorway.” 

“Sorry,” Sam said the grin he was wearing didn’t make his words sound sincere in the slightest.

“Sam!” Castiel announced happily, “Dean said I could get bees! _And_ a puppy!”


End file.
